This one time I got tired of dealing with stupid boys and didn't wear pants.

I’ll just start by saying that there’s nothing wrong with sending the “want to fuck?” text. In fact, yes, if that’s all you want, just text that. If you don’t care how my day was or what I’m doing this weekend, then don’t ask. It will just get me thinking that maybe you do care about those things. Then I’ll think you might want to eat Chipotle, drink beer, and watch a baseball game with me. There’s clearly a line. And everyone needs to stick to one side or other. Either we’re just having sex or we’re dating. And I’m fine with either. I just need to know. You know, so I don’t do something extremely embarrassing, like text you in the middle of the afternoon and ask if you want to go eat wings with me.

“I wasn’t sure what was appropriate.”
“Appropriate? I’m not some waitress you banged in a snowstorm. That word has no place in our vocabulary. I’m the woman you don’t have to worry about.”
“Sounds like a trap.” –Up in the Air

I’m never appropriate. And today was no exception. It was a gorgeous day and a family needed a golf cart ride at work. I hop on the golf cart excited to drive around campus. After about two feet, it hit me. Duh, I’m totally wearing a skirt and it is flying up. So I pull it down and keep driving. Obviously, I feel so inappropriate that I have to tell people. But I’m an idiot and have 2 typos in the same sentence. First, I say I’m driving a gold cart. Which I’m clearly not doing because what kind of university in Missouri can afford gold carts? If there is one, I want to be there. The second type was of the actual word inappropriate. I spelled it “innaprorpriate.” And of course it got pointed out by someone who is totally cute. And then I was all, I should probably just get back to focusing on not showing my vagina to all of campus.

And this post should have totally been about why I’m spending all my time in the shower lately or how I had one of the most epic weekends of my life, both of which are much better stories than this.

Currently listening to: Pursuit of Happiness-Kid Cudi