January, some things...
I have been sober for 21 days today.
I've seen a psychologist and a doctor to start getting my anxiety under control.
I'm obsessed with green smoothies.
I'm flirting with the idea of doing the Heartland 30k series & a half marathon but at this point I've barely gotten used to even saying that sentence, let alone moving forward.
I'm now in my second coaching course and am moving forward with my coaching practice.
My motto for 2014 is: calm, confident, accepting, & forgiving.
I'm doing yoga once a week with that in mind.
I'm studying for my AIC designation with a lofty goal of completing it by June.
So far I've read Divergent and am currently reading Insurgent.
I ran a 5k on New Year's Day and finished with a time faster than my December 5k but proceeded to vomit immediately afterwards.
My next 5k is next week, weather permitting.
Speaking of the weather, I hate it.
I saw American Hustle, I might be the only person ever that actually didn't like it.
I saw Walter Mitty, I thought it was cute.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Monday, December 30, 2013
Eff Yeah 2013!
Set a 5k PR
Ran two 4 mile races
Ran a few 5ks
Set a 4 mile PR
Quit my second job
Read a bunch of books
Got my 33
Went to Colorado
Went to Mexico
Completed NDJ
Got my AINS
Got my AIS
Started my AIC
Completed a graduate coaching course with an A
Ate vegan for a week
Pretty cool year I'd say.
Ran two 4 mile races
Ran a few 5ks
Set a 4 mile PR
Quit my second job
Read a bunch of books
Got my 33
Went to Colorado
Went to Mexico
Completed NDJ
Got my AINS
Got my AIS
Started my AIC
Completed a graduate coaching course with an A
Ate vegan for a week
Pretty cool year I'd say.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
We'll never be royals...
Hiiiiiii....it's been a few months!
In August I decided it was a perfect idea to take a graduate coaching course, study for my salary grade test at work, run a 5k every month, and still work my full time job and live my normal life. Totally fucking crazy right? Right. I was able to follow through with everything except for my test. I didn't pass. By one question. I know, I KNOW. One question meant the difference to me between epic failure and amazing success. But it's not. I aced my college grad course and set a 5k PR. I worked hard at progressing at work. One question doesn't make that epic distinction that I thought it did.
So then I went to Mexico for a week.
And now I'm back.
And I retake that test next week.
In August I decided it was a perfect idea to take a graduate coaching course, study for my salary grade test at work, run a 5k every month, and still work my full time job and live my normal life. Totally fucking crazy right? Right. I was able to follow through with everything except for my test. I didn't pass. By one question. I know, I KNOW. One question meant the difference to me between epic failure and amazing success. But it's not. I aced my college grad course and set a 5k PR. I worked hard at progressing at work. One question doesn't make that epic distinction that I thought it did.
So then I went to Mexico for a week.
And now I'm back.
And I retake that test next week.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
My August Favorite Things
Orange is the New Black: Five reasons to watch & the best reason to watch.
Timehop App: There's an amazing motivational dinosaur plus it reminds you that one year ago today @xCarling said "I can't wait for September 11th. For football, not terrorists."
A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin. Game of Thrones is about thinking someone is a main character and then that person being brutally murdered. Yup.
This song. I could listen to it all day. Most days. It's so catchy. And versatile, I can run to it or shower to it.
Healthy hair. I visited this hair stylist who was like oh god looking at my hair and was like let me help you get your life together. So then I spent a ton of money on hair products, read a bunch of articles about healthy hair, & am now on a shampoo cleanse which I hear gets worse before it gets better.
Drunk History.
What are your favorite things this month?
(August was hard right?)
Timehop App: There's an amazing motivational dinosaur plus it reminds you that one year ago today @xCarling said "I can't wait for September 11th. For football, not terrorists."
A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin. Game of Thrones is about thinking someone is a main character and then that person being brutally murdered. Yup.
This song. I could listen to it all day. Most days. It's so catchy. And versatile, I can run to it or shower to it.
Healthy hair. I visited this hair stylist who was like oh god looking at my hair and was like let me help you get your life together. So then I spent a ton of money on hair products, read a bunch of articles about healthy hair, & am now on a shampoo cleanse which I hear gets worse before it gets better.
Drunk History.
What are your favorite things this month?
(August was hard right?)
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
2:05 p.m. in Tokyo
I am waiting for it to be 2:05 p.m. in Tokyo. That means J will land in Tokyo and he can message me after 10 1/2 hours that he's fine. I guess this isn't all about me. I mean, J just spent 10 1/2 hours on a plane, preceded by 3 1/2 hours on a plane and will be followed by 5 1/2 hours on a plane. His total travel time is TWENTY FUCKING SIX AND A HALF HOURS. That's a long time.
I wonder what it would be like to be able to think like a normal person and not feel like the world's going to end before it's 2:05 p.m. in Tokyo. From the outside looking in, you could never understand it. From the inside looking out, I can never explain it.
I guess I'm going back to school? Or at least I think I'm going back to school. I feel like I should be doing things, you know? Going back to school is probably not the answer. Everyone's like "oh yeah, that's cool, I'd like to get a master's degree one day too!' I already have a master's degree you a-hole. I don't know. We'll revisit this topic later.
I'm drinking while typing this. On my new laptop. It's so tiny! I shouldn't be drinking and typing. Have we ever discussed my record of drinking while using laptops? It's bad. But I promise I'm being careful. No, seriously, I really promise this time. This laptop is not even paid off yet. (Don't even give me that look.)
Thanks to the lovely people @timehop, I know that three years ago today I tweeted "You were going to conquer the world." I want so badly to know what that quote is from & who it was about. I googled and the google says it's from It's a Wonderful Life or Pinky & The Brain. I don't think it was from either, doesn't sound like me in July. Let me know if you know.
Also, I want to audition for drunk history. I love drinking, laying on the floor, & telling stories. I would be fucking fantastic.
I wonder what it would be like to be able to think like a normal person and not feel like the world's going to end before it's 2:05 p.m. in Tokyo. From the outside looking in, you could never understand it. From the inside looking out, I can never explain it.
I guess I'm going back to school? Or at least I think I'm going back to school. I feel like I should be doing things, you know? Going back to school is probably not the answer. Everyone's like "oh yeah, that's cool, I'd like to get a master's degree one day too!' I already have a master's degree you a-hole. I don't know. We'll revisit this topic later.
I'm drinking while typing this. On my new laptop. It's so tiny! I shouldn't be drinking and typing. Have we ever discussed my record of drinking while using laptops? It's bad. But I promise I'm being careful. No, seriously, I really promise this time. This laptop is not even paid off yet. (Don't even give me that look.)
Thanks to the lovely people @timehop, I know that three years ago today I tweeted "You were going to conquer the world." I want so badly to know what that quote is from & who it was about. I googled and the google says it's from It's a Wonderful Life or Pinky & The Brain. I don't think it was from either, doesn't sound like me in July. Let me know if you know.
Also, I want to audition for drunk history. I love drinking, laying on the floor, & telling stories. I would be fucking fantastic.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
When did it become July?
Holy shit, you guys, it's JULY.
I actually had to go back a few posts to find out what my new year's resolutions word (we're fucked, right??). So my goals were to run a 5k every month, read 2 books every month, & finish NDJ.
Maybe let's just Eff Yeah! list this intstead.
January-Groundhog Run 5k (worst time ever), completed NDJ
February-Completed Sweetheart Run 4 mile (fantastic run & the fastest time ever), passed AINS 22
March-I quit my second job!
April-I don't know, you guys, it snowed so maybe let's just leave this month alone
May-Colorado Vacation, passed AINS 23B
June-Color Run, Glow Run, AINS 23C
I can't be sure when I read what so here's just what I've read this year:
Dad is Fat, Wild, Gone Girl, Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Waiting to Be Heard, Tiny Beautiful Things, & How to Be a Woman. So apparently more like 1 a month.
I've signed up for Jingle in July 5k, am looking at vacations for October, & looked into starting school in the fall for a graduate certificate.
I'm trying to build a life that I really love living and I'm learning that it's not as easy as step 1, 2, 3, done, you love your life now! That it's more of a process.
I actually had to go back a few posts to find out what my new year's resolutions word (we're fucked, right??). So my goals were to run a 5k every month, read 2 books every month, & finish NDJ.
Maybe let's just Eff Yeah! list this intstead.
January-Groundhog Run 5k (worst time ever), completed NDJ
February-Completed Sweetheart Run 4 mile (fantastic run & the fastest time ever), passed AINS 22
March-I quit my second job!
April-I don't know, you guys, it snowed so maybe let's just leave this month alone
May-Colorado Vacation, passed AINS 23B
June-Color Run, Glow Run, AINS 23C
I can't be sure when I read what so here's just what I've read this year:
Dad is Fat, Wild, Gone Girl, Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Waiting to Be Heard, Tiny Beautiful Things, & How to Be a Woman. So apparently more like 1 a month.
I've signed up for Jingle in July 5k, am looking at vacations for October, & looked into starting school in the fall for a graduate certificate.
I'm trying to build a life that I really love living and I'm learning that it's not as easy as step 1, 2, 3, done, you love your life now! That it's more of a process.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
She's up all night to get lucky
Well, it's been awhile. But I've been busy.
1. I went to opening day (yes, baseball). I've been to 4 Royals game with two more planned on Saturday & Tuesday. One of which was in the Royals suites (thanks J!) which was fantastic. How can you not love being at the ballpark on beautiful day?
2. J & I went to Colorado May 16-20. Also fantastic. Mountains (I went to the top of Pike's Peak), amazing food (macaroni! alaskan reindeer hot dogs! elk jalapeno sausage! fried chicken! more macaroni!) , AND SO MUCH BEER. Seriously, there are more craft breweries in Colorado than anywhere else in the US. I posted 236 pictures to Facebook. I had an f'ing amazing time.
3. I met Jim Gaffigan, Cheryl Strayed, & Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess) and had them sign my copies of their books. I am a total fan girl and cannot form words when meeting authors. Besides me being a major dork, it was pretty cool.
4. Speaking of books, I compiled my list of summer reading: Dad is Fat, Waiting to be Heard, The Kite Runner, Jeneration X, I Can Barely Take Care of Myself, Gone Girl, & How to be a Woman are on the list. I also have Barred to You & Torch on my audiobook list.
5. My 26th birthday was a blast and even though I still can't drink tequila (well thanks to that and cinco de mayo), it was a wonderful time. I am super grateful to have amazing friends & family that celebrated with me. Both J & my mom gave me electric toothbrushes so I'll take that as a hint and I guess that's what being 26 is all about.
6. The weather is FINALLY warming up. In December I went to a Chiefs game and it was 75 degrees and I wore a tshirt. The first week of May it was 30 degrees and we got 2 inches of snow. WTF is that about right? I seriously can barely function in the snow so I've had about zero motivation to do anything but sit inside in my snuggie watching the West Wing eating cheese for the past 4 months.
7. On Friday I celebrated (?) 3 years at my current job. It's been a rollercoaster.
8. I'm really trying to get my shit together.
1. I went to opening day (yes, baseball). I've been to 4 Royals game with two more planned on Saturday & Tuesday. One of which was in the Royals suites (thanks J!) which was fantastic. How can you not love being at the ballpark on beautiful day?
2. J & I went to Colorado May 16-20. Also fantastic. Mountains (I went to the top of Pike's Peak), amazing food (macaroni! alaskan reindeer hot dogs! elk jalapeno sausage! fried chicken! more macaroni!) , AND SO MUCH BEER. Seriously, there are more craft breweries in Colorado than anywhere else in the US. I posted 236 pictures to Facebook. I had an f'ing amazing time.
3. I met Jim Gaffigan, Cheryl Strayed, & Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess) and had them sign my copies of their books. I am a total fan girl and cannot form words when meeting authors. Besides me being a major dork, it was pretty cool.
4. Speaking of books, I compiled my list of summer reading: Dad is Fat, Waiting to be Heard, The Kite Runner, Jeneration X, I Can Barely Take Care of Myself, Gone Girl, & How to be a Woman are on the list. I also have Barred to You & Torch on my audiobook list.
5. My 26th birthday was a blast and even though I still can't drink tequila (well thanks to that and cinco de mayo), it was a wonderful time. I am super grateful to have amazing friends & family that celebrated with me. Both J & my mom gave me electric toothbrushes so I'll take that as a hint and I guess that's what being 26 is all about.
6. The weather is FINALLY warming up. In December I went to a Chiefs game and it was 75 degrees and I wore a tshirt. The first week of May it was 30 degrees and we got 2 inches of snow. WTF is that about right? I seriously can barely function in the snow so I've had about zero motivation to do anything but sit inside in my snuggie watching the West Wing eating cheese for the past 4 months.
7. On Friday I celebrated (?) 3 years at my current job. It's been a rollercoaster.
8. I'm really trying to get my shit together.
Monday, March 4, 2013
25/26
25, you were one of the best and I loved you fiercly.
We're now on the downhill side to 30.
26, you've got a lot to live up to.
And here are 25 long overdue thank yous for this past year...
To my mom for being ridiculously proud of me every.single.day for 26 years which I didn't even know was possible.
To Carling for being my friend through every nonsense drunk & anxious text I send her whether it is at 11 p.m. or 5 a.m. and for letting me be my most honest, raw self and still loving me.
To my brother for forcing me to face head on all my beliefs about mental illness, family, and for teaching me that believing in someone fiercly despite the obvious is still worth it.
To my grandpa, who I miss every day, who taught me that I am beautiful & smart and that curiosity shouldn't be given up on.
To my sister for letting me be absolutely ridiculous and knowing how to throw an epic dance party and most of all, being the only one who really understands where I come from.
To Laura for the books, dvds, & the pursuit of a better life with less bullshit. To K for lunchiez, talking to me all day everyday, and teaching me how to grow the fuck up graciously. To Bekah for teaching me to love my body the way it is, unlimited margaritas, & for demonstrating intense wild bravery about life. To Casey for showing me that there are actually still people out there who are geniunely nice & good. To Megan for being my walking partner, lunch buddy, & helping me get through the daily grind.
To Taryn for supporting me as I did one of the scariest things in my life, reminding me of all the good times, & being there through text message for any crazy shitshow I go through.
To C for convincing me that I am not crazy and being the thing I needed to move forward and see myself more clearly.
To Gina for finding the prettiest shade of brown for my hair. To my boss for being an amazing female example, super honest, & challenging me. To Patricia for always fucking smiling & being someone who actually makes going to work fun. To Brad for being the best to my mom & the nicest to our family. To Evan for being the best to my sister & for always being up for a fun time.
To Ben Affleck for having the best beard & making the best movies. To Pandora for having stations like "drunk dance party" & "crying in the bathtub with wine." To the lovely people I follow on Twitter that make me laugh, chuckle, and realize I'm not the only confused 20something female who drinks a lot.
To H for being someone to violently and painfully end my destructive behavior and forcing me to move forward to my future happier life. To E for teaching me about having a better attitude, trying harder, & asking better questions.
To my cat, Mr. Riggins, for not actually murdering me, giving me the best morning snuggles, and for helping me not feel like I'm alone in an apartment in the city.
To M, for saving my life when I couldn't save myself, teaching me the meaning of standing the fuck up for myself, and being the propelling force that got me from A to B.
To J for being the most compassionate, reminding me to always calm the hell down, being on my team, loving me, and being the frying pan to my bacon. You are my wonderwall.
We're now on the downhill side to 30.
26, you've got a lot to live up to.
And here are 25 long overdue thank yous for this past year...
To my mom for being ridiculously proud of me every.single.day for 26 years which I didn't even know was possible.
To Carling for being my friend through every nonsense drunk & anxious text I send her whether it is at 11 p.m. or 5 a.m. and for letting me be my most honest, raw self and still loving me.
To my brother for forcing me to face head on all my beliefs about mental illness, family, and for teaching me that believing in someone fiercly despite the obvious is still worth it.
To my grandpa, who I miss every day, who taught me that I am beautiful & smart and that curiosity shouldn't be given up on.
To my sister for letting me be absolutely ridiculous and knowing how to throw an epic dance party and most of all, being the only one who really understands where I come from.
To Laura for the books, dvds, & the pursuit of a better life with less bullshit. To K for lunchiez, talking to me all day everyday, and teaching me how to grow the fuck up graciously. To Bekah for teaching me to love my body the way it is, unlimited margaritas, & for demonstrating intense wild bravery about life. To Casey for showing me that there are actually still people out there who are geniunely nice & good. To Megan for being my walking partner, lunch buddy, & helping me get through the daily grind.
To Taryn for supporting me as I did one of the scariest things in my life, reminding me of all the good times, & being there through text message for any crazy shitshow I go through.
To C for convincing me that I am not crazy and being the thing I needed to move forward and see myself more clearly.
To Gina for finding the prettiest shade of brown for my hair. To my boss for being an amazing female example, super honest, & challenging me. To Patricia for always fucking smiling & being someone who actually makes going to work fun. To Brad for being the best to my mom & the nicest to our family. To Evan for being the best to my sister & for always being up for a fun time.
To Ben Affleck for having the best beard & making the best movies. To Pandora for having stations like "drunk dance party" & "crying in the bathtub with wine." To the lovely people I follow on Twitter that make me laugh, chuckle, and realize I'm not the only confused 20something female who drinks a lot.
To H for being someone to violently and painfully end my destructive behavior and forcing me to move forward to my future happier life. To E for teaching me about having a better attitude, trying harder, & asking better questions.
To my cat, Mr. Riggins, for not actually murdering me, giving me the best morning snuggles, and for helping me not feel like I'm alone in an apartment in the city.
To M, for saving my life when I couldn't save myself, teaching me the meaning of standing the fuck up for myself, and being the propelling force that got me from A to B.
To J for being the most compassionate, reminding me to always calm the hell down, being on my team, loving me, and being the frying pan to my bacon. You are my wonderwall.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
On January, some things.
Sobriety: Today is my 27th day of sobriety. I am extremely proud of this.
Reading: I finished reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed and found it absolutely fantastic. I got halfway through The Kiss by Kathryn Harrison. I couldn't finish it because it's so f'ing weird. I won't spoil it in case some of you actually like reading books about weird completely f'ed up girls who bang their dads (that is not a spoiler, fyi). I'm currently reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. I'm listening to Tina Fey's Bossypants on audiobook.
Movies: I saw Zero Dark Thirty in theaters with J. One man in the theater yelled out "I told you that would happen!" at one point. It's a true story people. These things actually happened. I'd give it a solid B.
TV: I need more Scandal in my life. I'm watching The West Wing on Netflix. J & I are watching Sons of Anarchy Season 5 on the DVR. Did you see the episode Laying Pipe? Oh god.
Food: My new goal is to make 2 new pinterest recipes every month. I made eggs baked in avocado with facon last Sunday and I'm currently working on one in a crockpot. This past week was restaurant week and my friend and I made it to Spin! for a BLT salad, sundried tomato & olive pizza, & autumn crunch gelato that was fantastic.
The 5k: Today I ran the Groundhog run. I was incredibly slow. But I finished, so hooray!
Looking forward to: Spring
Reading: I finished reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed and found it absolutely fantastic. I got halfway through The Kiss by Kathryn Harrison. I couldn't finish it because it's so f'ing weird. I won't spoil it in case some of you actually like reading books about weird completely f'ed up girls who bang their dads (that is not a spoiler, fyi). I'm currently reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson aka The Bloggess. I'm listening to Tina Fey's Bossypants on audiobook.
Movies: I saw Zero Dark Thirty in theaters with J. One man in the theater yelled out "I told you that would happen!" at one point. It's a true story people. These things actually happened. I'd give it a solid B.
TV: I need more Scandal in my life. I'm watching The West Wing on Netflix. J & I are watching Sons of Anarchy Season 5 on the DVR. Did you see the episode Laying Pipe? Oh god.
Food: My new goal is to make 2 new pinterest recipes every month. I made eggs baked in avocado with facon last Sunday and I'm currently working on one in a crockpot. This past week was restaurant week and my friend and I made it to Spin! for a BLT salad, sundried tomato & olive pizza, & autumn crunch gelato that was fantastic.
The 5k: Today I ran the Groundhog run. I was incredibly slow. But I finished, so hooray!
Looking forward to: Spring
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
So this is the new year...
Happy New Year!
Holy shit, it's 2013!
I had a fantastic NYE and was more than thrilled to spend it with some fantastic people, including J. We both took the day off work and sat inside watching Homeland and eating pizza while the snow fell. We made snack foods and our friends came over to drink champagne and countdown til midnight and watch fireworks and take shots. It was actually perfect.
I know that a lot of people say that resolutions are bullshit and if you want to change your life you should just do it instead of waiting for an arbitrary date on a calendar and blah blah blah. However, it just makes the actual most sense to do it at that time. Here are a few highlights from my list of goals for the year: run a 5k every month, read 2 books every month, & complete NDJ.
So today I bought my 2013 calendar and planner and ate my first vegan bacon burger and didn't drink at all and started a new 5k training program. So here we go. We can do this. We can totally fucking do this.
Sending you love and light in the new year.
Holy shit, it's 2013!
I had a fantastic NYE and was more than thrilled to spend it with some fantastic people, including J. We both took the day off work and sat inside watching Homeland and eating pizza while the snow fell. We made snack foods and our friends came over to drink champagne and countdown til midnight and watch fireworks and take shots. It was actually perfect.
I know that a lot of people say that resolutions are bullshit and if you want to change your life you should just do it instead of waiting for an arbitrary date on a calendar and blah blah blah. However, it just makes the actual most sense to do it at that time. Here are a few highlights from my list of goals for the year: run a 5k every month, read 2 books every month, & complete NDJ.
So today I bought my 2013 calendar and planner and ate my first vegan bacon burger and didn't drink at all and started a new 5k training program. So here we go. We can do this. We can totally fucking do this.
Sending you love and light in the new year.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Eff Yeah 2012
As the year draws to a close I have to admit that another year has passed and I didn't get around to a lot of those things I set out to do. I set out to juggle and now it's December 29 and I most definitely cannot juggle. But here's the thing, maybe I didn't learn to juggle and that's ok. Maybe I learned along the way that juggling wasn't necessarily the best use of my time or energy. That's fine. I am forgiving myself for all my faults and failures thorughout the year and I hope that as the year ends, you all do as well. Don't be Michelle Pfeiffer in New Year's Eve. I did find some things along the way that I am pretty proud of accomplishing and so I'm pleased to present my "Eff Yeah 2012' list.
EFF YEAH 2012
Started a new job
Got promoted at said job (32!)
Ran 4 5ks
Ran a 5k alone (talk about doing uncomfortable shit)
Made about one dozen new pinterest recipes
Went to therapy
Learned to eat sushi with chopsticks
Placed 3rd in Fantasy Football
Had a great Halloween costume for the first time in my adult life
Voted for a winning president (I'm 2/2, thanks Obama!)
I am currently in the processing of dreaming up my 2013 goals and intentions and I'll be sure to share them with you here.
EFF YEAH 2012
Started a new job
Got promoted at said job (32!)
Ran 4 5ks
Ran a 5k alone (talk about doing uncomfortable shit)
Made about one dozen new pinterest recipes
Went to therapy
Learned to eat sushi with chopsticks
Placed 3rd in Fantasy Football
Had a great Halloween costume for the first time in my adult life
Voted for a winning president (I'm 2/2, thanks Obama!)
I am currently in the processing of dreaming up my 2013 goals and intentions and I'll be sure to share them with you here.
Monday, December 3, 2012
The kids don't stand a chance/The kids are all right
I think an important thing to reflect on is where you were and where you are now.
One year ago I was completely miserable at work. To the point it was affecting my personal life and health. I was basically told I wasn't good at my job and was called a bitch almost daily by people. I've blogged about it several times previously so I don't feel the need to go into too much detail here.
Today a customer wrote in that he loved working with me so much that he'd like to take me to dinner. People tell me thank you almost daily. I rarely get yelled at. I feel lucky and blessed beyond all reason. I'm told I do a good job and on Wednesday I'm taking my salary test.
Pretty much a 180 there. And so grateful for it. Thanks 2012 for that.
One year ago I was completely miserable at work. To the point it was affecting my personal life and health. I was basically told I wasn't good at my job and was called a bitch almost daily by people. I've blogged about it several times previously so I don't feel the need to go into too much detail here.
Today a customer wrote in that he loved working with me so much that he'd like to take me to dinner. People tell me thank you almost daily. I rarely get yelled at. I feel lucky and blessed beyond all reason. I'm told I do a good job and on Wednesday I'm taking my salary test.
Pretty much a 180 there. And so grateful for it. Thanks 2012 for that.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Reverb12 Day 1
Holy cow, this is officially my third year of doing Reverb. I'm super sad it's not organized the way it was in 2010 and so far what I've found online for 2012 posts hasn't been super great but I'm going to make it work because I love doing it and I think the idea of reflecting on the year gone by is important.
For day 1 I'm going to do the classic day 1 post. "Pick one word to describe how 2012 went and pick a word to describe how you want 2013 to go. Bonus: Reflect on the word you'd picked to describe 2012."
2012: Nice. "I urge you to please notice when you are happy and exclaim or murmur or think at some point 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" -Kurt Vonnegut
This year was very nice and I was very lucky and things were very lovely. I've come a long way from where I was last year and I feel very good about it. I look back on this year as largely positive and I like it. My word that I'd chosen last year for this year was epic. I'd say I fell largely short of that but not in any sort of way that's left me disappointed.
My word that I've chosen for 2013: Achievement.
For day 1 I'm going to do the classic day 1 post. "Pick one word to describe how 2012 went and pick a word to describe how you want 2013 to go. Bonus: Reflect on the word you'd picked to describe 2012."
2012: Nice. "I urge you to please notice when you are happy and exclaim or murmur or think at some point 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" -Kurt Vonnegut
This year was very nice and I was very lucky and things were very lovely. I've come a long way from where I was last year and I feel very good about it. I look back on this year as largely positive and I like it. My word that I'd chosen last year for this year was epic. I'd say I fell largely short of that but not in any sort of way that's left me disappointed.
My word that I've chosen for 2013: Achievement.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Staycation, all I ever wanted, Staycation gotta get away...?
Ok, you guys, I haven't worked in one week and I don't go back til Monday. I have not left Kansas City in that time, not even for the holiday. So yes, this is a true "Staycation" if there ever was one.
REMIND ME TO NEVER TAKE STAYCATION IN THE WINTER AGAIN, EVER.
Or I might die. I mean sure it's been great not having to go to work but seriously, this is ridiculous. I sleep in the middle of the day or make crazy crockpot recipes that take 8 hours to cook or don't shower for two days or watch entire seasons of tv shows in half a day or don't straighten my hair in 4 days and my great plans are mostly just deciding what time it's acceptable to take my bra off and start drinking and that time is pretty much like 3 pm. (Just kidding, I'm not drunk (yet) and I'm wearing a bra (for now), pinky promise). Also I haven't worn real pants in a solid week.
What do people do all day that don't work? I have no real idea.
Here's a brief rundown of what's going on my life, besides of course this ridiculous staycation:
1) I did all my Christmas shopping from dining room table on Cyber Monday (ASL?) except for my brother & one friend. Quite relieved and impressed with myself.
2) I am starting my mission of doing at least one 5k every month for the next year. In October I did the Color Run-Des Moines and in November I did the Turkey Trot. In December I'm doing the Santa Run & Jingle Bell Run. Right now I'm insanely slow but I'm excited about setting a goal and following through with it and hopefully getting faster.
3) I'm taking a test at work one week from today to increase my salary. It's extremely important and I'm very nervous. Like so nervous I want to throw up just thinking about it. It'll be ok, right?
4) Ok, I'm STILL listening to Mockingjay on audible. STILL. We are going on, what, 8 months? I'm so tired of it. Katniss is always like PEETA, PEETA, GAIL, THE CAPITAL! I'm over it. I have 4 hours left though and I'm finishing it by Monday. Then I'm starting Game of Thrones. Why do I torture myself on Audible?! Anyone have any audiobooks they loved listening to? That didn't have annoying narrators?
5) Wendnesday is my favorite night of television. Law & Order: SVU is so good with that hot new detective I've already forgotten Stabler. Yep, I'm not afraid to say it. And are you watching Chicago Fire? J says I'm Dick Wolf's bitch and it's true. Don't forget Top Chef! At least once during the season someone loses a finger and there are always adorable asian chefs AND last week someone made mashed potatoes that were half butter/half potato. How can you not love it? Plus there's The Middle, Modern Family, Key & Peele. But don't talk to me about Suburgatory. That show is shit and you aren't invited to my wine party if you love it.
xoxo
M
(Don't get cute, you like Gossip Girl too)
REMIND ME TO NEVER TAKE STAYCATION IN THE WINTER AGAIN, EVER.
Or I might die. I mean sure it's been great not having to go to work but seriously, this is ridiculous. I sleep in the middle of the day or make crazy crockpot recipes that take 8 hours to cook or don't shower for two days or watch entire seasons of tv shows in half a day or don't straighten my hair in 4 days and my great plans are mostly just deciding what time it's acceptable to take my bra off and start drinking and that time is pretty much like 3 pm. (Just kidding, I'm not drunk (yet) and I'm wearing a bra (for now), pinky promise). Also I haven't worn real pants in a solid week.
What do people do all day that don't work? I have no real idea.
Here's a brief rundown of what's going on my life, besides of course this ridiculous staycation:
1) I did all my Christmas shopping from dining room table on Cyber Monday (ASL?) except for my brother & one friend. Quite relieved and impressed with myself.
2) I am starting my mission of doing at least one 5k every month for the next year. In October I did the Color Run-Des Moines and in November I did the Turkey Trot. In December I'm doing the Santa Run & Jingle Bell Run. Right now I'm insanely slow but I'm excited about setting a goal and following through with it and hopefully getting faster.
3) I'm taking a test at work one week from today to increase my salary. It's extremely important and I'm very nervous. Like so nervous I want to throw up just thinking about it. It'll be ok, right?
4) Ok, I'm STILL listening to Mockingjay on audible. STILL. We are going on, what, 8 months? I'm so tired of it. Katniss is always like PEETA, PEETA, GAIL, THE CAPITAL! I'm over it. I have 4 hours left though and I'm finishing it by Monday. Then I'm starting Game of Thrones. Why do I torture myself on Audible?! Anyone have any audiobooks they loved listening to? That didn't have annoying narrators?
5) Wendnesday is my favorite night of television. Law & Order: SVU is so good with that hot new detective I've already forgotten Stabler. Yep, I'm not afraid to say it. And are you watching Chicago Fire? J says I'm Dick Wolf's bitch and it's true. Don't forget Top Chef! At least once during the season someone loses a finger and there are always adorable asian chefs AND last week someone made mashed potatoes that were half butter/half potato. How can you not love it? Plus there's The Middle, Modern Family, Key & Peele. But don't talk to me about Suburgatory. That show is shit and you aren't invited to my wine party if you love it.
xoxo
M
(Don't get cute, you like Gossip Girl too)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Comes and Goes (In Waves)
The thing about stuff ending is that I want to know it's the last. I want to know that this, I'll never have this again so that I can savor every last second of it.
I used to try to do that with him but then there'd always be another time until there wasn't. I can't remember it now.
Hostess is out of business. I'll be damned if my last Ding Dong was a decade and a half ago and I don't remember it.
I didn't know Fireside Nut Brown was going to be discontinued. I feel cheated, like if only I'd known, I'd have enjoyed every last sip. Instead I thought, see ya next winter beer.
I didn't know that the last time I hugged my grandfather would be the last. I can't remember the last thing I said to him. I've almost forgotten the way his voice sounds.
It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song. You were always singing the words, it was so easy. But you can't remember and you try to feel the beat.
This time in my life, this time right now, is the most I've ever wanted to live, to really live and I couldn't be more overjoyed with this.
I used to try to do that with him but then there'd always be another time until there wasn't. I can't remember it now.
Hostess is out of business. I'll be damned if my last Ding Dong was a decade and a half ago and I don't remember it.
I didn't know Fireside Nut Brown was going to be discontinued. I feel cheated, like if only I'd known, I'd have enjoyed every last sip. Instead I thought, see ya next winter beer.
I didn't know that the last time I hugged my grandfather would be the last. I can't remember the last thing I said to him. I've almost forgotten the way his voice sounds.
It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song. You were always singing the words, it was so easy. But you can't remember and you try to feel the beat.
This time in my life, this time right now, is the most I've ever wanted to live, to really live and I couldn't be more overjoyed with this.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
The little things become the big things
I want to tell you about my weekend, reader. I doubt you care much, or at all. I hope you do, at least a little. Sometimes I'm not sure if you're even there at all. Never the less...
On Thursday, J and I went to get Italian Nachos and beer for dinner. Because we are adults but not grown up. Have you ever had Italian Nachos? They are fantastic. Like an explosion of cheesy gooey goodness in your mouth. We watched The League, It's Always Sunny, & Thursday Night Football.
Friday we had dinner with my mom and her boyfriend. I find it weird to say "my mom's boyfriend" but I like him and he is a good guy and makes her very happy. My mom likes J for the same reasons. After dinner we went to a haunted house with J's coworkers. We stood in a field drinking a beer and whiskey from a flask saying we couldn't feel our feet because it was just so cold before running through a maze terrified. We went home and drank pumpkin spice lattes with pumpkin vodka and watched Shark Tank for awhile. I couldn't get warm again and got so tired and fell asleep softly.
On Saturday we dressed in our Halloween costumes and went to his friends annual Halloween party. I dressed as a slutty replacement ref and he dressed as a lumber jack/axe murderer. We drank wine by a bonfire and laughed and talked and met new people. I wore my hair in pigtails and I still haven't taken them out.
Today we went to the grocery store. He made chili and I made jalapeno popper dip. We watched football all day. We checked our fantasy football scores and saw we were both winning. I came home to my cat, Riggins. I took a bath, drank some white wine, and now am getting ready to watch The Walking Dead.
I have tomorrow off work.
This weekend may sound oh so boring to you, reader, but it was so beautiful though. This weekend I was happy. Very happy. I felt alive and loved and at peace. And that's what I'll remember most about this weekend.
On Thursday, J and I went to get Italian Nachos and beer for dinner. Because we are adults but not grown up. Have you ever had Italian Nachos? They are fantastic. Like an explosion of cheesy gooey goodness in your mouth. We watched The League, It's Always Sunny, & Thursday Night Football.
Friday we had dinner with my mom and her boyfriend. I find it weird to say "my mom's boyfriend" but I like him and he is a good guy and makes her very happy. My mom likes J for the same reasons. After dinner we went to a haunted house with J's coworkers. We stood in a field drinking a beer and whiskey from a flask saying we couldn't feel our feet because it was just so cold before running through a maze terrified. We went home and drank pumpkin spice lattes with pumpkin vodka and watched Shark Tank for awhile. I couldn't get warm again and got so tired and fell asleep softly.
On Saturday we dressed in our Halloween costumes and went to his friends annual Halloween party. I dressed as a slutty replacement ref and he dressed as a lumber jack/axe murderer. We drank wine by a bonfire and laughed and talked and met new people. I wore my hair in pigtails and I still haven't taken them out.
Today we went to the grocery store. He made chili and I made jalapeno popper dip. We watched football all day. We checked our fantasy football scores and saw we were both winning. I came home to my cat, Riggins. I took a bath, drank some white wine, and now am getting ready to watch The Walking Dead.
I have tomorrow off work.
This weekend may sound oh so boring to you, reader, but it was so beautiful though. This weekend I was happy. Very happy. I felt alive and loved and at peace. And that's what I'll remember most about this weekend.
Monday, October 22, 2012
I'm baaaaaccckkkk...
My absence has been due to the fact that I no longer own a personal computer and while I now use my iPhone for all internet purposes, I couldn't get use to actually writing blog posts with it. J recently remembered his old college computer from years ago still technically worked. It's a PowerBook with a homemade battery adapter and no sound. I am quite pleased and grateful. J is the actual best.
Here's what you missed:
Took J home to see my small town
Drafted a fantasy football team
Drank pumpkin beer
Celebrated my little sister's 21st birthday
Took a long weekend
Got a massage
Watched a bad movie
Quit therapy
Made dips
Watched football
Watched the Chiefs & my fantasy football team lose
And lose again
And again
Took every Monday in October off
Watched a good movie
Watched another bad one
Watched the football teams lose again
And again
Took a bath
Drank wine
Ran a 5k
Watched the presidential debates
Cleaned my sister's puke off my boyfriend's wall
Felt inadequate
Talked on the phone to my mom
Put together a study binder (not full of women)
Became obsessed with olives and trying to be a good cook
Accepted J is the better cook
Talked on the phone to my friends
Drank more wine
Picked out a halloween costume
Looking forward to Halloween for the first time in years
Talked to my mom on the phone more
Ate J's smoked chicken (it's worth writing home about)
Watched new tv
Watched more new tv
Watched even more new tv with my cat
Read a good book
Read a good book in the bath
Ran a mile in less than 10 minutes
Took a health test that scared the shit out of me
Started counting calories
Was really, really cold #noheatoctober
Was really, really hot #whyisit90degreesinthefall
Realized that life is about what we have in us to be better, to do better and those that make us better
And upcoming tonight: pumpkin pie vodka & another presidential debate
Here's what you missed:
Took J home to see my small town
Drafted a fantasy football team
Drank pumpkin beer
Celebrated my little sister's 21st birthday
Took a long weekend
Got a massage
Watched a bad movie
Quit therapy
Made dips
Watched football
Watched the Chiefs & my fantasy football team lose
And lose again
And again
Took every Monday in October off
Watched a good movie
Watched another bad one
Watched the football teams lose again
And again
Took a bath
Drank wine
Ran a 5k
Watched the presidential debates
Cleaned my sister's puke off my boyfriend's wall
Felt inadequate
Talked on the phone to my mom
Put together a study binder (not full of women)
Became obsessed with olives and trying to be a good cook
Accepted J is the better cook
Talked on the phone to my friends
Drank more wine
Picked out a halloween costume
Looking forward to Halloween for the first time in years
Talked to my mom on the phone more
Ate J's smoked chicken (it's worth writing home about)
Watched new tv
Watched more new tv
Watched even more new tv with my cat
Read a good book
Read a good book in the bath
Ran a mile in less than 10 minutes
Took a health test that scared the shit out of me
Started counting calories
Was really, really cold #noheatoctober
Was really, really hot #whyisit90degreesinthefall
Realized that life is about what we have in us to be better, to do better and those that make us better
And upcoming tonight: pumpkin pie vodka & another presidential debate
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Conversations I wish I'd never started
Conversation with my new coworker tonight. (Side note, usually in the evenings there are just two of us working and it's not very busy so there's a lot of down time. Previous coworker and I had lots of long chats about life, happiness, friends, & guys.)
Me: Where do you go to school?
Her: ____ Community College
Me: So what are you going to school for?
Her: Nursing. But like, I don't want to be a nurse. I .don't want to do anything really. A stay a thome mom, maybe. You know how women in the 50's just stayed home? I want to do, like, that. That'd be perfect.
Me: Umm, oh?
Her: Yeah, like nursing school is like so hard. I mean to get into. They want me to have good grades, like a 4.0 or something. I can't get that! Maybe if I only did school. But I have like, a life. And I work. Community college is like, actually hard. If they need so many nurses, why do they make it so hard?
Me: Uhhh?
Her: Anyway, I did some nursing work for awhile. It was fine. You know, bodily fluids don't bother me.
Me: I get grossed out.
Her: I thought about being a cosmetologist because I like, love hair & makeup. But that sounds like no money. Also I thought about being a massage therapist, but I cannot like, rub people.
Me: So bodily fluids are ok but rubbing is not?
Her: It's just like impossible! Anyway, I don't know why they even look at grades. What you want is a nurse that's just like, nice, ya know? I'm super nice. I would be great in an interview. I hope they just like interview me. And look at things I do in school besides actual school.
Me: I'm going to go check the laundry.
Ladies and gentleman, that's the future.
Me: Where do you go to school?
Her: ____ Community College
Me: So what are you going to school for?
Her: Nursing. But like, I don't want to be a nurse. I .don't want to do anything really. A stay a thome mom, maybe. You know how women in the 50's just stayed home? I want to do, like, that. That'd be perfect.
Me: Umm, oh?
Her: Yeah, like nursing school is like so hard. I mean to get into. They want me to have good grades, like a 4.0 or something. I can't get that! Maybe if I only did school. But I have like, a life. And I work. Community college is like, actually hard. If they need so many nurses, why do they make it so hard?
Me: Uhhh?
Her: Anyway, I did some nursing work for awhile. It was fine. You know, bodily fluids don't bother me.
Me: I get grossed out.
Her: I thought about being a cosmetologist because I like, love hair & makeup. But that sounds like no money. Also I thought about being a massage therapist, but I cannot like, rub people.
Me: So bodily fluids are ok but rubbing is not?
Her: It's just like impossible! Anyway, I don't know why they even look at grades. What you want is a nurse that's just like, nice, ya know? I'm super nice. I would be great in an interview. I hope they just like interview me. And look at things I do in school besides actual school.
Me: I'm going to go check the laundry.
Ladies and gentleman, that's the future.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Anxiety, Beer, & Back Pain
1. I've been struggling with my family over the past two weeks. Like struggling to the point where it actually hurts my heart. It's hard seeing people you love go through difficult things, it is even more difficult to see them make decisions that you aren't supportive of. I know that I can only be responsible for myself and my own decisions but it feels impossible to still not be upset about it.
2. Yesterday we went on the Boulevard Brewery Tour. It was a fantastic time and almost worth the two year wait.
3. I wish everyone could talk more openly about mental health. At the very least I'm learning to understand my own struggle with anxiety. My biggest anxiety attacks usually show up on Sunday nights & Monday mornings and times when I'm alone after hanging out with friends and family. Last night after the brewery tour I felt like I was literally dying, that my heart might actually explode. It was my first anxiety attack in over a month, which was feeling like a victory. But I sound like a crazy person saying I can't breathe because of the panic, don't I? Tonight I'm fine and we'll try again tomorrow.
4. My back has been in intense pain and I'm feeling a bit like I'm 25 going on 75. I'm spending a lot of time on my heating pad and trying to figure out how to fix it. It's incredible how much older I've gotten in the past few years.
5. Is it fall yet?
2. Yesterday we went on the Boulevard Brewery Tour. It was a fantastic time and almost worth the two year wait.
4. My back has been in intense pain and I'm feeling a bit like I'm 25 going on 75. I'm spending a lot of time on my heating pad and trying to figure out how to fix it. It's incredible how much older I've gotten in the past few years.
5. Is it fall yet?
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
I caved and talked about Chick-Fil-A, also birth conrol.
Tonight I am scanning my Facebook page and am, for lack of a better word, confused about a majority of the comments (regarding Chick-Fil-A) I'm reading and also who the hell are these people and am I sure they are my "friend"? As my blood is almost boiling because I hate ignorance and incomplete thought processes, I decided to take it out here on my blog rather than on Facebook (will I ever be able to just deactivate my profile?!)
Let's start by breaking down some things...
#1, Chick-Fil-A has always been closed on Sundays. Simple thought process would lead you to conclude it's based on religious affiliations, which it should not be surprising, do not wave a rainbow flag by the cross. This should not be a shocking revelation to anyone.
"He simply stated his opinion on something, making this a freedom of speech issue."
The common "this is a free speech issue" comment. If he'd said he doesn't support African Americans or women or the American flag or democracy, would we be so ok with calling it a free speech issue? I think not. Sure, he has free speech, but don't be blind to the fact that it still is a rights issue as well and people who are passionate about fighting for equal rights or those opposed, have the right to step up and speak their peace in return.
Next of all, I don't care whether you eat Chick-Fil-A every day of your life or never eat it again. If you refuse to eat Chick-Fil-A, I urge you to get educated on other businesses and what they support beause I am very sure Chick-Fil-A isn't the only business that does not support equal rights. And likewise for the reverse. And likewise again for other issues-child labor, employee rights, etc. You are incredibly ignorant if Chick-Fil-A is the only business you need to take a stand on.
Finally, for those who thing that a business owners opinions have no affect on their product and your consumption...get a clue. This is America, you vote with your dollar. Where you spend your money does directly affect various issues and this is a prime example. So don't sit there with your waffle fries and act like 20 cents of that didn't go to supporting groups who are against equal rights.
In other news, free birth control for the ladies! I think this is amazing and to those who are comparing today's birth control victory to 9/11 and Pearl Habor, you should be ashamed of yourself. You should be embarrassed and probably apologize to those who have suffered and lost loved ones to these very real tragedies. There is a vast difference between American tragedies that have caused thousands of Americans to lose their lives, including soldiers, police offiers, firefighters, etc to a day when millions of women will finally have access to necessary and basic health care. There is no comparison.
Lastly, I would like to direct you to The Wrong Side of History brought to you by Jenn.
Happy Hump Day.
Let's start by breaking down some things...
#1, Chick-Fil-A has always been closed on Sundays. Simple thought process would lead you to conclude it's based on religious affiliations, which it should not be surprising, do not wave a rainbow flag by the cross. This should not be a shocking revelation to anyone.
"He simply stated his opinion on something, making this a freedom of speech issue."
The common "this is a free speech issue" comment. If he'd said he doesn't support African Americans or women or the American flag or democracy, would we be so ok with calling it a free speech issue? I think not. Sure, he has free speech, but don't be blind to the fact that it still is a rights issue as well and people who are passionate about fighting for equal rights or those opposed, have the right to step up and speak their peace in return.
Next of all, I don't care whether you eat Chick-Fil-A every day of your life or never eat it again. If you refuse to eat Chick-Fil-A, I urge you to get educated on other businesses and what they support beause I am very sure Chick-Fil-A isn't the only business that does not support equal rights. And likewise for the reverse. And likewise again for other issues-child labor, employee rights, etc. You are incredibly ignorant if Chick-Fil-A is the only business you need to take a stand on.
Finally, for those who thing that a business owners opinions have no affect on their product and your consumption...get a clue. This is America, you vote with your dollar. Where you spend your money does directly affect various issues and this is a prime example. So don't sit there with your waffle fries and act like 20 cents of that didn't go to supporting groups who are against equal rights.
In other news, free birth control for the ladies! I think this is amazing and to those who are comparing today's birth control victory to 9/11 and Pearl Habor, you should be ashamed of yourself. You should be embarrassed and probably apologize to those who have suffered and lost loved ones to these very real tragedies. There is a vast difference between American tragedies that have caused thousands of Americans to lose their lives, including soldiers, police offiers, firefighters, etc to a day when millions of women will finally have access to necessary and basic health care. There is no comparison.
Lastly, I would like to direct you to The Wrong Side of History brought to you by Jenn.
Happy Hump Day.
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